Wednesday, May 25, 2005
"I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel." ------ Pee Wee Herman
That's me the loner. I have no girlfriend, and no REAL social life. This is not a pity party, so don't think that way. It is just the way that I am. I would love to be with someone who loves me, but I am also content with being alone. I don't really know where to go look for a woman. I mean they are everywhere, but I am not the type to just walk up to a woman and start talking. It takes awhile for me to open up to people, but when I do, look out. Don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I'm bored and can't think of something Genius to write.
2 years ago I killed a sixteen year old kid on the road to Flagstaff. I am not proud of it, but it happened. Sometimes you're just pushed too far. I burned and buried the body along with any form of identification that he had. His name was Ronnie Voncer and I am sorry. He drew first blood, not me.
Maybe who I am is LONELINESS. That defines me as a human being. That makes me who I am. Without loneliness I would not be whole, but then again maybe I am incomplete now. Maybe a woman would make me whole. Who knows the answer to lifes burning questions. Sure as hell not me, but I am trying.
Life is like a sandwich, it's whatever you make it.
Don't cry for me Argentina. I'll be fine. Life is beautiful and all is well. I am happy to be alive and I have wonderful friends that make the world a better place because they are here. Whenever I think that I may have it bad I just look at someone who is more of a loser than myself and think, "Well, I'm not a loser like that guy." That makes all the difference.
In the grand spectrum of things, you never really have it THAT bad. If you are alive, don't bitch. If you can move your extremeties, definately don't bitch. If you are alive, can move your extremeties and speak in full sentences, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have nothing to bitch about. The day that you lose all of that, then that's a BAD day. You won't care then because you'll be dead. Everybody have a nice day and enjoy the little things.
"At the very least, we have someone we love to grow old with."
Neil Page (Steve Martin)
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles