Saturday, June 18, 2005

Living life under an assumed name.



When offending someone easily, you never know what they might do. Perhaps blow up my house or KILL MY CAT? I have no idea what these people are capable of. I was in fear for my life. I had signed on with them about 3 to 4 months ago. I thought that they were nice, funny, caring people. I WAS WRONG.

Writing on my blog, I accidentally/on purpose offended them. They were upset and tried to erase me from their existence. I countered that with erasing myself, and going into hiding.

I am deep in the dark corners of cyberspace, where nobody can find me. If I want to let my whereabouts known, I will surely tell someone. I doubt it though. These easily offended people will never know where I've gone. This life of mine is a dangerous one. Always looking over my shoulder, never knowing if I'm going to be google stalked. It is a fear that runs deep, and I am truly afraid.

These angels came to my house when they knew that I was having a hard time with the easily offended. They said that they could take me out of this world that I lived in and move me to some other town, under some other name. I asked, "What saviors would do that for little old me?"

They said, "WITNESS RELOCATION!"

I dropped to my knees and thanked them profoundly. They said that there was no time, we had to move now. The helicopter was waiting. I boarded the chopper and we headed to.................. I can't really tell you, but I can tell you that my new name is John W. That's all that they will allow. I can write my blogs but not give away any secrets.

The part that I like, is that I can be as offensive as I want.

I love my new life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

LoveTheDivaPrincess said...

You know I love ya and PAHLEEEASE if I really thought you were capable of killing a kitten do you think I would let my children around you? Hell know some people need to frikkin lighten up, get off their high horses and stop being so judgemental. I think that is the funny part they bitch about people judging them, I say that is the pot calling the kettle black.

I love ya you satan worshipping kitten killer!!!!!

Mrs. H said...

This still crack me up every time I read it.