Friday, June 24, 2005

So, your friend thinks that you're a serial killer.

I want to...................

kick every woman in the cunt,

piss on a police man,

violate an unplugged toaster,

shit on a parked car,

and dry hump a library book.

Would I ever do these things? NO. People who don't know me may think that I would, but they'd be wrong. Okay, maybe piss on a police man, but that's it. Although.....................

You sometimes think that people know you, but then it turns out that you are way off. A friend of mine had thought that I killed a kitten because of a post that I wrote. She was so offended that she took me off of her links on her blog. She then tries to tell me that she didn't know if it was real or not, because it was WRITTEN SO WELL.

What a bunch of BULLSHIT!

She said that she thought that it might be true, because I had put so many truths in it. I told her that anyone who knew me, would know that I would never do that, it was a joke. Granted it might have not been that funny of a joke, but I liked it.

All she can say is that the rest of the post was written so truthful that she thought the paragraph of the kitten drowning was real. I informed her that the end of the paragraph about the kitten says that I lost my car keys and didn't need to kill my kitten to experience loss, because I had lost my keys before.

She just said that that sounded like a serial killer's mentality. That they will kill out of the passion of the moment, and then do or talk about something mundane. I told her that I'm not, or ever will be, a serial killer. So now what's worse, the fact that she thinks that I killed a cat, or that I have a serial killer's mentality? I guess I could combine the two and be a serial cat killer.

I then asked her about my other post. The mother, grandmother, sister fucking one. She said that she did not find that one funny either. I explained to her that I did not necessarily mean her grandmother. The way that I saw it was that some stranger about my age would be reading it. In so doing, he would be pissed that I fucked the whole female side of his family. Also what struck me funny was the visual of me fucking a grandmother. Some old lady who doesn't know what's going on, and I'm pumping away. Maybe while the mother licks my ass, and the sister sits on my face.

The point is this. Anyone who knows me, knows that I would never do anything like kill a kitten or gang fuck your female relatives. (Unless they ask for it, or provoke me.)

Whether something that a friend of yours writes touches you on an emotional level or not, I would hope that you know your friend. (You would not condemn them for something they didn't do.)

I hold all my friends very close, and I would hope that they know me. I would like to believe that they don't think I'm insane.

"It puts the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose again."-----Jame Gumb


LoveTheDivaPrincess said...

Very well written.

Mrs. H said...

OMG - that is great. You are such a good writer. I don't know that I really think you have a serial killer mentality, but we have always talked about you and a tower someday in the future. I hope you are not thinking me less of a friend now for that. I can still see it happening.