Friday, June 03, 2005

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."-----Tyler Durden

I was looking for a quote that defined what I was feeling right now at this minute. I found this one and many more. I believe that there is alot of time wasted doing nothing. The reason that I started this particular post was because I just WASTED 3 plus hours looking up SHIT on the internet. Movie memorabilia, movies, DVD release dates, it's all a bunch of crap. I can't believe the time people waste. I'm NO saint by any means, I am as guilty as the next guy. The thing that sucks is that I'll totally feel the way I feel right now, but then I'll go home and waste time watching TV or a movie. My father asks me sometimes, "Why do you buy movies? It's a waste of two hours, you've already seen the movie." That is so true, yet I continue to do it.

People are concerned with who is sleeping with whom in hollywood, or what happened on the latest reality show. WHO CARES? The answer is everybody. Thinking about the movie FIGHT CLUB, I found some beautiful quotes that I would like to share.

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."-----Tyler Durden

How fucking true is that. Nobody knows why we're here. Another quote that I actually remember from Fight Club is, "Our fathers are the models for GOD, and without our fathers where are we." This explains to me why I don't believe in the whole Christian way of life. I always hate that these people let the bible dictate their behavior. You shouldn't smoke, have premarital sex, be in a "same sex" relationship, and if you don't go to church you are a bad person. Fuck that and the bible you rode in on. I am here for a short time. I have no guide in life except myself. I was born alone and I will die alone. That's the way of the world.

"Buy" the new Infinity/Chevy/Ford/Lexus, because Tiger Woods is in the commercial driving one. If he's driving one, and he's good at golf then maybe I can drive one and I'll be like him. Or he's famous and he drives one therefore if I drive one my social class will be raised. BULLSHIT! It may be sad and hopeless, but the only thing we can do is wait to die. The only certainty in the world is DEATH and TAXES, we all know that.

Now you're saying, "Then if we are just waiting to die, then why can't I do whatever I want? Waste as much time as I want?" This is true you can do that, but it should upset you that you are watching E. Entertainment and wondering who Lyndsey Lohan is dating now, and not doing something creative or fun. Now, you will also say, "Well I find watching that shit fun and it helps me cope with my life a little better when I see that famous people are having the same problems that I am." That is fine but Depeche Mode said it best when they said, "People are people........" Celebrities, Queens, Rock Stars, and Bill Gates all have to sit on a toilet and take a dump now and then. Although, Bill Gates may have the toilet, gently take the shit out of him while he stands and reads the paper. He's does have the money, and the group of men that think shit up for him. Haha I said think shit up. More like out. CHILDISH.

The funny and ironic thing of this whole thing, is that as you read this you'll realize that you may have done some things that are a waste of time. You may try to change, hell I would like to change. The fact of the matter is this, you will surf around on the computer for hours and I will probably go home and watch a movie or tv. It's the way that society is.

Now you may say that you get online, and you broaden your mind with all of the shit that you learn. The internet is a wonderful thing and I wish that I had it when I was a young lad. When you are looking up shit for the entire day, and you've learned so much different shit that none of it fits together, then you need to sit and think about what you want your belief structure to be. Now I know that the people reading this know who is who and what I am talking about, and some may think that I don't understand them. I know that I don't believe in a GOD, but I do have a belief. It is more of a buddhist way of thinking and living. Some of you may say, "Well how can you be so buddhist like, if you killed a bug or two in your life?" The answer to that would be that I'm not a PRACTICING buddhist. That may be an easy way out, but so be it.

As for me, because you are all saying well why doesn't he pick on himself. He picked on us. Here it is. I own 380 movies, 8 seasons of televison shows, and I record movies and television shows constantly. I WASTE soooooooooooooo much time, but what else is there to do? The answer is, that I could get off my ass and learn to play guitar, write a script, and read the four books that I have sitting around. Also, I will find myself glued to the television to hear about Jack Nicholson's True Hollywood Story. An hour I wasted on that. For what, did I learn anything new? Nope, not so much.

Now for those of you on the internet finding your belief system. I am writing this telling everyone that I've wasted time on the internet tonight, and in life all the time. Well will my life change? Am I going to go hike to the top of a mountain, read a book, hike back down, write a script of my hiking adventure, and then score it on my guitar. HELL NO! Like always, I am a procrastinator. I will mentally think of this shit that I need to do and change in my life, but tomorrow I'll sleep all day after watching movies tonight.

Where is the line drawn. I ask myself that all the time. I collect movies to have a collection, but am I really going to watch them over and over again? If I don't get off my ass and follow my dream then what use is it to teach myself about the different aspects of movie making? I give myself these motivational speeches, but nothing ever comes of it. I need to write, follow through, and get off my ass. I should get cable taken off, get a better desk for writing, and actually finish a final draft of a script. That would be nice, and it's easy for me to say, but maybe I'm scared like my friend tells me. Who knows.

What I do know is that I can try to change, and maybe I will. Baby steps. If AA taught me anything it's that the first step to recovery, is knowing that you have a problem. In case you're wondering, I was never in AA. They wouldn't let me drink at the meetings. Well now that I've wasted more time on the internet and in life, I will leave you with this...............................

Why does cottage cheese and sour cream have an expiration date on it? It's already bad milk.

"The things you own, end up owning you."-----Tyler Durden


Vashinaz said...

Hey P-

I love this movie! I watch it at least a few times a year...

It's speaks volumes about how much our life lacks meaning. In a twisted sort of way it points out how we are slaves to the ideas of others.

One of my favorite lines is, "Hows that working for you?...Great..."

I think I'll watch it again this weekend.



Mrs. H said...

Yet another somewhat harsh post. I think you just cant say these things to the actual people, myself included, because you are too nice and don't want to upset anyone. But give you a blog / live journal and you just take off!
You say I don't enjoy your posts as much as Yaddoshi and that is not true. I have to leave now to go waste my life at a job now, so I can't respond any longer.

Dakini said...

Nice long one phillip..I have some long comments but my back hurts ...Ill catch up to commenting more later.