Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Shake, whimper, and cry

I'm at work meeting a new night auditor. He puts his hand out and we shake hands. It has to be the lightest, daintiest hand shake of my life. This is not the first time I've shaken hands with a man lightly. It's never me, but always the other guy. I don't know what it is, but I've had firmer hand shakes with women.

Several of the hand shake with men in my life have been firm. Although, it seems that more often than not, I've had light ones. I'm not some kind of mountain man with an extremely strong hand shake, but it's firm enough.

When you think about it, a hand shake can determine what kind of man or woman you are. I don't mean to stereotype, but here I go.

When you get a light/wimpy hand shake, that's who that person is. Light and wimpy equals gay and weak. Now weak doesn't mean no muscles, it means no inner strength. A man who gives you a wimpy hand shake is more likely to suck your dick, than he is to take a bullet for a friend. He may not be gay, but he's weak. He could also be gay.

A woman with a soft light hand shake, is a high maintenance woman that thinks her shit is made of gold. She is also weak. She is more likely to let someone walk all over her, then stand up and fight for what she wants.

Now, a hand shake can also be too hard. This translates to overbearing or overcompensating. Whether it be a man or woman, a heavy hand shake is never good. They're being too forward, and trying to push who they are down your throat. It's just not right.

A hand shake tells it all, but you be the judge.


Mrs. H said...

I think I need to shake your hand more often. No more hugs for you - only handshakes, because I really can't imagine you having a strong handshake (is it 1 word or 2)

Dakini said...

I agree Phil...Like the time I shook hands with this girl who was trying to steal Matty away from me...Yes here in Lima...I wasn't sure who she was, but I had heard enough from matty that I didn't care for any of the fake polluted people he worked with. So when i met her not knowing if she was the BITCH, LOL, I shook her hand and crushed her knuckles. You are right, she had a pansy ass hand shake, and me, I was asserting my dominance.

K I really must go know, i will read more later.