Tuesday, January 31, 2006


As I was doing my security patrol at the church the other day, I decided to go into the chapel and pray. I thought that I would ask for forgiveness for driving away after hitting the dog from my previous post. I don't really believe in GOD, but I thought that it couldn't hurt. I am more agnostic than atheist. I thought that maybe if I was shown a sign then I would now that God existed and I would have forgiveness. The church was empty and I went to the front, kneeled down, and prayed. I asked from my heart and hoped that it would matter.

Nothing happened.

2 hours later when I was at another job site, I started to have a sore throat. Now at first I was like, "Oh great, I got that flu thing that everyone's getting." Then it hit me. What if it was GOD that made me have a sore throat and get sick with the flu. My punishment for driving away and letting other people handle the problem that I caused. God maybe can't forgive me just like that, he has to make me suffer. I have to understand that what I did was wrong. Then again, I don't really believe in GOD. I would need some kind of proof that he was doing this. It does make sense that he could do this. Although, the argument against it could be that everybody has had this flu thing already. I might have caught it anyway, whether I hit the dog or not.

Who's to say what it is? All I know is that I am sorry for not stopping and checking on the dog. I just should have delt with the problem myself.

They say that you learn from your mistakes, and I know I have.

To the readers out there. I hope that you can forgive me.

I love you all.

Have a nice day.


Mrs. H said...

I don't know. Although, I do believe in God I am not a big prayer person. I do understand your reasoning on praying, but as you don't believe in God what is the point? You need to forgive yourself and that is all that matters, not what anybody else thinks. You know what you did and you have learned from it. Maybe you should just ask the dog for forgiveness as you know he exists.

Dakini said...

k Im down with everything Kris said... However just because he doesn't believe in GOD.. ( as the lyrics go "god is an American") He is agnostic which means he believes in a higher force, a higher power. Perhaps that higher power is who he was asking forgiveness from, and if so then we come to understand that we are all part of that higher power, each of us our individual souls make up a part of that higher being, just as our children that we created are a part of us, our blood dna etc, without our ancestors pro creating we would not exist here today, therefore we are part of them they are part of us.

Asking a higher power for forgiveness would be asking all that is and ever will be for forgiveness. including the dog. As we are all part of the same weave that makes up the entire cloth, every action has a reaction.

Phillip you know the church is not the place to seek for signs. For it lies within nature and all creations.

You very well may have the sore throat because of what you did. As you open up more Im sure you will see with not your mind the signs.

MOVIEMAN said...

Maybe so, but maybe I'm just a little sick. I have learned from my mistakes. I still am unsure about GOD. I do know that I didn't necessarily have to go to the church to pray, but I thought that it was a better antenna to GOD. That is all that I can think of. Now this writing has me thinking whether I am an Atheist or an Agnostic. I do so believe in the Big Bang Theory. Although I am going to have to think on this long and hard.

Dakini said...

"They" already proved the Big Bamg theory was wrong where are you man?

Anyway who's to say a higher intelligence didn't cause the big bang theory..

MOVIEMAN said...

Who are "they"? The white man. I will have to see what I find out. Thanks.